Parent pressures Gay son to change

Happy Thanksgiving to all.
The following letter appeared in the Hartford Courant on November 19, 2013. Since it fell so close to Thanksgiving, a time when we stop to give thanks for our many blessings, it reminded me of something I always say whenever I pray Grace at a meal. I always thank God for His many blessings, both the visible and the invisible blessings he brings into my (our) life each day. I think the following letter to "Dear Amy" exemplifies how some of us often fail to recognize a real blessing when we've been given one, especially one as important as a son or a daughter. Hundreds, more likely thousands, of times each and every day, parents from all over the world discover that they have an LGBTI child. The first reaction that many have is one of panic that others will find out and that they, the parents, will be shamed. How sad that their first thoughts are not for their child, but rather for themselves! I decided to add this letter to my Blog, because I know that a great many people feel just the way this parent feels. And, I know that a great many LGBTI youth find little or no love and support from parents who treat them as lepers with some curable, but yet unspeakable disease. I was surprised by the reply the parent below received from "Dear Amy". It is a response that I must admit I had never considered to this question, but it will be one that I plan to offer when this question is asked of me in the future.

 Ask Amy
 November 19, 2013

"Dear Amy:
 I recently discovered that my son, who is 17, is a homosexual.
We are part of a church group and I fear that if people in that group find out they will make fun of me for having a gay child.
He won't listen to reason, and he will not stop being gay.
I feel as if he is doing this just to get back at me for forgetting his birthday for the past three years — I have a busy work schedule.
Please help him make the right choice in life by not being gay.
He won't listen to me, so maybe he will listen to you.
— Feeling Betrayed 

Dear Betrayed:
You could teach your son an important lesson by changing your own sexuality to show him how easy it is.
Try it for the next year or so: Stop being a heterosexual to demonstrate to your son that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice — to be dictated by one's parents, the parents' church and social pressure.
I assume that my suggestion will evoke a reaction that your sexuality is at the core of who you are. The same is true for your son.
He has a right to be accepted by his parents for being exactly who he is.
When you "forget" a child's birthday, you are basically negating him as a person.
It is as if you are saying that you have forgotten his presence in the world.
How very sad for him.
Pressuring your son to change his sexuality is wrong.
If you cannot learn to accept him as he is, it might be safest for him to live elsewhere.
A group that could help you and your family figure out how to navigate this is PFLAG.org.
This organization is founded for parents, families, friends and allies of LGBTI people, and has helped countless families through this challenge.
Please research and connect with a local chapter."

______

My sisters and brothers, God does not make junk! Plain and simple! The wonderful diversity of humanity constantly points to a magnificent and all loving Creator who creates magnificent and loving creations exactly as He chooses to create them. Each of us are created in the image of the Creator and we're just the way God intended each of us to be. Again I say, God does not make junk! If we say that we celebrate the Creator, then we must celebrate His creation. We need to stop thinking that a person's sexual orientation is something that any of us can change on a whim. People don't just wake up one morning and decide that today I think I'll be Gay or today I feel like being straight. And the notion that being Gay is a "lifestyle" just shows how out of touch some people really are with this notion of choosing one's orientation. The implication here is, again, that sexual orientation is something people can choose: something we can turn off and on again at will. Does anyone suppose that this is something we all could do, if we choose to? That is a scary thought.

Nobody lives a Gay "lifestyle", not Gay people or straight people. We all simply do the best we can to live "a" life. If you honestly believe that Gay people choose to be Gay, then it must be true that non-Gay people choose to be straight. Right? Well then, when did you decide to be a heterosexual? And if your answer is something like, "Well, I didn't decide to be a heterosexual. I just am." Then maybe, just maybe, do you think you could accept that it's just the same for LGBTI people as well?

If you're still not convinced, why not take the advice of "Ask Amy".  For the next year or so: Stop being a heterosexual to demonstrate that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice — to be dictated by one's parents, the parents' church and social pressure. Let me know how that works for you!

The great philosopher, Cicero, once said, "Nothing that exists in nature can be unnatural. Even if something comes in an unusual form, if it exists in nature, it must necessarily be natural." I tend to believe that Cicero was on to something.